What the Artist Taught Me! by Sally Atkins

What the Artist Taught Me

When you can make art, you must,
When you can't you read
And watch TV.

Art goes with fine chocolate,
Champagne, and Wagner.
Art seeps into all your crevices
Like a low, soft river
Or crashes through your blood
Like whitewater.

Art is alive.
It grabs you at night, keeps you
Working until dawn,
In the morning keeps you
Looking, looking
Seeing with your whole body,
Keeps you open like flowers,
Bursting like seed pods,
Keeps you speaking aloud
The truth you did not know
You knew.

Sally Atkins from Picking Clean the Bones

Strange and Unexplainable Things.....

After a nice morning at the City Market and a refreshing nap.....we went trail-walking in the woods behind our house. Rowan had a fabulous time running ahead and finding frogs and rocks to throw into the creek. He was absolutely full of energy. Then....the strangest thing happened....we got to a pond, Rowan sat down and got really quiet and serious. He said that he was "waiting for my Grandpa". Rex and I looked at each other and asked him who he was waiting for.....again..."waiting for my Grandpa". He then began to talk to his Grandpa in a very quiet voice...Rowan never got the opportunity to meet Rex's Father before he died. He calls my Dad Opa and has seen him many times. This is one of those times that no matter what or who you believe in.....you cannot help but be touched and have a huge sense of wonder about what happened. I would like to believe that Rex's Dad, Rowan's Grandpa, was indeed there and was speaking with Rowan and that they have finally met.

A Poem for Me!

We went to the City Market today to buy fresh tomatoes and whatever else caught our eye. I left Rex and Rowan (they were in line to get a fancy balloon animal) to wander around. What I spotted made me smile.....a tiny little yellow desk, a vintage typewriter sitting on top, a beautiful woman sitting behind the desk banging away on the keys. The sign said "expressive help. The poet is in" ala Lucy from the Peanuts. I couldn't resist! I was told to pick 3 words out of the basket and then give her my subject. "soul house" immediately came to mind. She asked me my name and then told me to return in 10 minutes and she would have a poem for me. I love love love my poem! It speaks to me and MY soul house. What a wonderful thing to stumble upon today! If you live in Charlottesville, please stop by her desk for some "expressive" help. You won't be disappointed.

Change and Transition

My only daughter turned 18 today will be leaving for college this Wednesday. She cannot wait to go...she is tired of being at home and is ready for her new life to begin. Am I ready? I'm not sure. It is truly bittersweet. I believe that sometimes to make the transition easier.....(for who I don't know!), your children start acting completely alien....mouthy, bratty, and all too quick to point out that they are now adults (even though they are still quite dependent!) That is kind of where I am now. She is ready to leave....and yes, I am ready for her to leave. My mom reminded me that before I began my freshman year that I lost my mind....I moved into a hotel for a week and then didn't call my parents until Thanksgiving. Now, that's bratty! I am really excited for her and I know that she is going to love college life....and....she will only be a little over an hour away. Oh my, I have two children (adult children) in college now! I'm getting older............

So, having said that.....the past week or two has been incredibly stressful. Unbelievably stressful. Last Wednesday I thought that I was going to have to re-breathe into a paper bag. I usually go to Nia class on Wednesday evenings and enjoy 1 1/2 hours of luxurious movement and deep relaxation. I was so stressed that I almost didn't go. At the last minute I decided that I needed to and I am so thankful that I did. The movement was perfect, the music was perfect and I came home feeling completely relaxed. During deep relaxation we listened to music by Snatam Kaur. I am in love with her music now. I have listened to it every night since Wednesday and it makes me feel peaceful and calm. I feel the same way when I listen to Krishna Das. I am thinking about taking some yoga classes.....they should compliment my Nia practice nicely. If you have not tried Nia.....I highly recommend that you do. It is a mind-blowing experience! It can become addictive!

Embrace Your Journey!

I am about three weeks into my new journey.....wellness! I have been going to Nia classes with a dear friend. I've lost over 10 pounds and have had the most fun doing it! Nia is an absolutely joyful experience. I am addicted! I've tried many paths to fitness and I can honestly say that this is the only form of exercise that I smilingly sweat through! Susanna, you should definitely see if the gym you are going to offers these classes. I am happy to report that I am much healthier than I first thought. I had a stress test last week. It was awesome. They did an ultrasound of my heart before exercising and then again after. It was amazing! I think that if everyone saw what their heart looked like beating inside of them then no one would abuse it. I wanted to hold my heart in my hands...to rock it like a baby and tell it that I will be kind to it from now on...and to thank it for pumping my precious blood....my life force....through my body....even when I am asleep. Sounds weird I know. I have a piece of art in my head that I can't wait to translate to paint and paper. I'm hoping to have a little free time to work on this in the next week.

Tonight I am loving this song and this one. A friend gave me a cd mix....I have been listening to it non-stop! Thank you:) And thank you Mark for this gem! And this one....this was from last Sunday's Nia class...and this one to free dance to (your way...without a worry about how you look)!

My dear friend Charlie has written a book. She is in the process right now of having it published. Please check out her website. She is passionate about mental health for transitioning Veterans....80% of the proceeds go directly to providing Veterans with free PTSD counseling. Her stories will touch your heart and your soul. I was privileged to read some of the stories before they went to the publisher. I will never forget the night that I read "Finding Grace"....it touched a part of me that I had long ago buried and hoped would never return. I sobbed uncontrollably for many reasons....but most of all....because I was not alone. There was another soul out there who had experienced similar hurt. Sharing her story has allowed me to heal a part of myself that I had hidden away. Check here for updates about her book....like when it will be available for purchase! Writing about this has brought this song to my mind.

I leave you tonight (this morning) with the beautiful music of Huun Huur Tu. If you have never heard throat singing before, you are in for a treat. I've been looking for this group on and off for 5 years....ever since I first heard them on NPR. I love youtube!

Grandma was here!

My grandmother died several years ago. Not long after she passed, my mom was in Barnes & Noble when a book jumped off the shelf and demanded her attention. I don't recall the title but I remember that it was a story about a woman who had also lost her mother. She began discovering feathers in her house in the most unexpected places. Strangely enough, my mom also started finding feathers after her mom passed. You know when you get magazines in the mail....and sometimes they are wrapped in plastic?? Well, my mom found a feather in between the pages of Gourmet magazine....after unwrapping it and removing it from the plastic. My two sisters and I also find feathers and I love to think that my Grandma is here....watching over all of us. When Rowan was a newborn...I was changing his diaper and when I lifted his little bottom up.....there was a single white fluffy feather. I called my mom and told her that Grandma had come to welcome Rowan to the world. She was here again....just the other night....Rowan was sound asleep on his tummy and there was a perfect, delicate little feather right between his shoulders. I love you Grandma!

A very dear friend of mine lost her husband a few months back. She was telling me about working in her yard and that when her husband would work in the yard it would bring on the rain.....just at the right time. I asked her about feathers. She told me that the day she was gardening, thinking about the rain and her dear husband....she noticed a single feather sticking straight up out of the ground. How very curious!

My New Journey

The week before last I had a little bit of a scare with chest pain. I called my nurse practitioner and told her, and because I had a little pain in my jaw as well, she sent me to the ER. When you present at the ER with chest pain there are advanced protocols they follow....one of which is giving Nitro glycerin...the nurse told me that it might make me feel a little "light-headed"...she lied. I ended up with a headache from hell! Anyway...the next week I saw a new doctor who was recommended by my dad (also a doctor). This was the wake-up call I needed. He was very honest with me about the state of my health now and what it will be if I don't get serious about exercise and weight loss. For the next year I have added another full-time job to my already busy life.....my health is now front and center. Jena read us a poem during one of our Art and Soul sessions and thinking about my life now it makes so much sense. The poem is by Mary Oliver.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

There is something really fun about this. I have rejoined the gym and started going to Nia classes again. I took a class with a friend (amazing talent)....smiled through the entire workout and just felt better about everything. If you live in the Charlottesville area you should really check out classes by this woman and this woman and this woman. They are all so talented and bring such beautiful energy to their classes.

Courage

Another wonderful quality from Ruth Gendler's Book of Qualities: This book is wonderful and it has such lovely illustrations!

Courage has roots. She sleeps on a futon on the floor and lives close to the ground. Courage looks you straight in the eye. She is not impressed with powertrippers, and she knows first aid. Courage is not afraid to weep, and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. When Courage walks, it is clear that she has made the journey from loneliness to solitude. The people who told me she is stern were not lying, they just forgot to mention that she is kind.

Ruth Gendler

Pleasure

The following is from the Book of Qualities by Ruth Gendler. This was read to us by Jena in a recent Expressive Arts Therapy Session. It has stuck with me and I so wanted to share this with everyone. Payday is just a few days away and this book will be coming home with me!

We could all benefit from more Pleasure in our lives!


Pleasure is wild and sweet. She likes purple flowers. She loves the sun and the wind and the night sky. She carries a silver bowl full of liquid moonlight. She has a cat named Midnight with stars on his paws.

Many people mistrust Pleasure and even more misunderstand her. For a long time I could hardly stand to be in the same room with her. I went to sleep early to avoid her. I thought she was a gossip and a flirt and she drank too much. In school we learned that she was dangerous and I was sure that she would distract me from my work. I didn't realize she could nurture me.

As I have changed, Pleasure has changed. I have learned to value her friendship.

By Ruth Gendler

Painting Life

When we are painting at the Art Life Studio we are so involved in what we are painting that we don't realize what is being created all around us. A few weeks ago we all had a very emotionally charged session. When I stopped painting and turned around I saw this painting by Heather. It absolutely took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. It touched me on so many levels.....seeing a painting which so beautifully shows the heartache that is divorce. The bravery, honesty and generosity of a very talented and beautiful woman......thank you Heather for all that you bring to our group.

Scenes From the Art Life Studio

Summer Fun and Friends

I wish you could "hear" this picture

Rowan was absolutely delighted by the discovery of lots and lots of worms when we spread compost last night. There was a lot of squealing. To his right you can see my poor hosta.....the deer ate them early this year. Oh well.....there is always next year!

Wings

This is me. I painted it on Tuesday night at the Art Life Studio. I have signed up to participate in the Charlottesville Women's 4 miler. It is all for breast cancer. I can't help but believe that this painting was inspired by that.......the color (so much pink).....the boobs! It is all Woman!! I have to laugh at this right now.....I painted my wings and tied them to the front of my body instead of the back....I didn't realize it at the time. I was so caught up in painting something new and different....listening to Hawaiian music....eating pina colada cupcakes and just enjoying being with all of the lovely women in my expressive arts therapy group. I have been painting my soul houses for awhile.....this is also my house......our bodies are homes to so much....pain, joy, and love.

Beautiful Hearts by Anina

Such powerful and beautiful paintings by Anina. The depth of pain and the openness to joy!

Adventures of the blue-haired woman

It is always so lovely to see what emerges at the Art Life Studio! For the past 4 weeks Jill's blue-haired woman has been on quite an adventure. Isn't she beautiful? Just like Jill...so full of life and joy.

Heritage

My grandfather



I miss him

My other sister, Katie

I knew I had a photo of my other sister, Katie from our night at Orzo! I didn't mean to leave you out!

Henry Ward Beecher

When I blogged the other day about my "soul houses", I posted a quote by Henry Ward Beecher. I found his quote in a book by an expressive arts therapist. Today I decided to research who he is/was. I found the most amazing quote that should have been posted when I blogged about my book obsession.

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house.

and this one!

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

Henry Ward Beecher

What a fantastic discovery! I am loving what this man had to say. Maybe a month ago I blogged about not saying something nice like "I love you" or "I'm sorry" and then following it with a"but"..........

The meanist, most contemptable kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man, and then qualifies it with a "but".

Henry Ward Beecher

Soul Houses & Soul Mapping

I have painted these houses over the last month in Jena's expressive arts therapy class at the Art Life Studio. This studio has become my sanctuary. Every Tuesday evening I look forward to getting together with an amazing group of women.....all creative and powerful. They inspire me. I have been painting houses.....my soul houses...in order to deal with past issues that have been holding me back.....keeping me from knowing true happiness. I love this creative and very healing process and I am happy to say that I am now very much on the road to happiness. Mapping my soul....my life....seeing where I've been and where I am now and where the road will lead. Thank you Charlie, Jena, Jill, Sally, Anina and Heather.....you are all amazing.

This past Tuesday I traveled with everyone's paintings....I emerged from the ocean with my beautiful blue hair (the first woman to walk on land), I walked out on Sally's balcony and looked out into the distance at the azure ocean and dreamed of distant lands, I sat quietly in a cocoon of protection holding my heart, a teenage girl took a 4 year old girl with raven hair for a walk on the beach, and I cried with my beautiful friend in her wedding dress.

The paintings are amazing. The stories behind them... emotionally charged. If I have permission from the wild women in my art class I will post them here. If not, you will have to use your imagination.

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."

Henry Ward Beecher