Look who is looking at me!

Rex spotted this in the woods behind our house. It took me awhile to find her with my camera but wow! Isn't she beautiful?

Self Portrait Wednesdays

At the invitation of Misty Mawn, I decided to participate in her informal self-portrait Wednesdays. I know, it is Friday! This is probably one of the most uncomfortable projects I've undertaken so I kept putting it off. I do not like to be photographed and I hide from the camera. I secretly delete photos that my husband or anyone else has taken (just the ones with me in them). In photos I am barely recognizable to myself. I keep thinking that I should see the Kristin in her 20s...petite....thin...more comfortable with her outward appearance. I am now 42....I've had 4 children...I have more emotional baggage...I have external scars as well as the ones on my heart. I have always been an emotional eater and the older I've gotten the more difficult it is to get rid of excess weight. I keep telling myself that "I am not defined by my body". While I can understand this on an intellectual level......on an emotional level I refuse to believe it. I want to see something else...someone else! Through these self-portraits I am going to try to see myself as I see others......be more forgiving of myself as I am of others......to try to find the beauty in the "abandoned house that has been neglected for too many years".

Memories

Theses are two of my favorite photos....taken with my now deceased N65. I love my husband's strong hand with Rowan's tiny little hand. Every time I see this photo I smile. Rowan was about 8 months here. And.....there I am......revealed. It seems like yesterday that he was so little. He is such a dear little pumpkin! Such a "wild thing". Growing up so fast....too fast. And he is funny. Yesterday he looked at me and asked....."are you nuts"? Uh oh.....he's on to me!

My trusty Nikon N65....not so trustworthy!

I was just rereading one of my posts about the Sanatorium and read about taking my trusty N65. Well, I have to tell you that it let me down. My husband took one roll of black and white at DeJarnette and I took a roll of infrared. I went to pick up the contact sheets today and both rolls had absolutely NO images on them. I was so disappointed and could not understand how that could have happened. As it turned out I had brought my camera with me today to get the back latch repaired. When they looked at it they discovered that my shutter was really messed up. It is supposed to be flat.....it is not.....they disappeared with my camera..... took it to the back to give me an estimate on fixing it. There is no fixing it.....it needs a whole new shutter which would cost more than the camera is worth. This is a sad day. I am forced to make a decision......do I invest in another film camera (Nikon F100) or do I put my money into digital? Oh how I love film! It is my first love! I was stubborn about digital until fairly recently. Rex got a digital camera for his birthday and I have been borrowing it.....a lot! I love the instant gratification.....shooting and then coming home and immediately uploading the images......posting them to my blog....sending them to family members. This past week was painful......waiting for the contact sheets.......dying to know what I had captured......the anticipation! I would welcome any advice or information on a good digital camera. The more I sit here and write about it the more I am leaning towards digital. Have a wonderful night!