This is the mailbox that my Grandmother painted for me

And these little babies are living in it. When I come home from work I roll the window down to get the mail and the mama bird scares me as she darts out......sometimes going through my open window and out the passenger window. I don't usually make it a habit to show my tattoo but in the next post I will show you why these little babies mean so much to me.

SP Wednesday=Moody

I have taken a little vacation from my blog...I have been so moody lately and very grumpy. I am full of self-doubt, indecision, awkwardness, I am angry and I don't know why. Some days I'm sad and just want to curl up under the covers and hope no one will find me. Change is in the air! A change of seasons, a change at work, and I think a hormonal change as well. I know that I must be out of sorts when my mom says "Kristin, you know we all love you" then there is the but......and personally I don't think you should ever follow an "I love you" with a but.....or for that matter an "I'm sorry" cannot be followed by a but......I'm 42 and my mother suggested that I get my hormones checked....maybe I'm premenapausal? Wouldn't it be nice to just give it a name and then pop a pill and all will be ok. I saw my lovely and wise nurse practitioner today. She says that since I had postpartum depression after Rowan was born and that he is just now three that the postpartum depression likes to come and visit. Well, I'm tired of the company and I wish it would go away. I want to feel like myself again and I know I will. I also NEED to get back to art making. I've been doing a lot of visual journaling...next week I begin my Art and Soul gathering again. I think being creative with the wonderful wild women in my life will be just what my soul needs......what I crave. And then maybe my family will want to be around me again.

I am pretty sure that Rowan is color blind

I think Rowan has a red/green color deficiency. He can name all of the colors but cannot distinguish between red and green. I can't even imagine not being able to see the color red!!! One of my favorite colors. Anyone have any experience with this?

Plate 1 What number do you see?	Plate 2 What number do you see?
Plate 3 What number do you see?	Plate 4 What number do you see?

Happy Mother's Day!

This is me and I think my mom was pregnant with Katie

This is me and my sister Katie. She is sitting on the bike. Looks like my mom's hairstyle is popular again! I see this inverted "bob" all over C-ville!

I couldn't ask for a better mom! Isn't she beutiful?

Look "hoo" is back and looking at me!

She was waiting for me at the top of our drive when I got home from work last Saturday. I love her!

I can't forget Taite

My Children's Artwork

I never thought of robbing a cheese bank! You?

Forrest has always been one to believe that everyone is equal and until we all come together there will be no peace! We should listen more to our children.

Don't you just love pink unicorns? I believe in them.

This one totally cracks me up. Forrest called a family meeting years ago. Topics to be discussed are as follows:

• 1. chores
• 2. allowance
• 3. fault
• 4. dinners
• 5. bedtime
• 6. tv opportunities
• 7. fun trips
• 8. report card rewards
• 9. loaning
• 10. listening

What is even more funny are the little drawings. I love the volcanoes that are erupting and spewing forth little people! I'm assuming the the angel is Forrest....of course....he would do no wrong. All of these were done by Forrest over 10 years ago. He is now a cinema student at VCU!

Looking for animal tracks and critters

Discovery

All kinds of cool stuff to find in the woods

Today on our walk...........

A little moss....a little fungus......

Look what I dug up!

I was going through a box of old things....children's artwork, report cards and other odds and ends. I came across this painting that I did almost 24 years ago (Where does the time go?)! Anyway.....it is interesting to see that some themes have remained constant in my art.....it seems I am always drawing or painting houses. The only thing missing from this painting is a few birds!

Trying to Explain Artist Trading Cards to my husband!

OK.....I'm up at my usual hour.....and Rex is up too. I was reading dear Joanie's blog and telling my husband about the ceiling in her studio landing on her precious artwork.....quilt and ATCs. He looked at me and asked what artist trading cards were. I explained...he laughed.....I smiled! So he walks into the kitchen and then back and says "what if we had medic trading cards?" I love my husband....he loves me. He absolutely does NOT "get" my artwork....and that is okay. I don't "get" the game he plays on his computer. He just started reading "a declaration of war" to me......this is from his game. I heard him talking....picked up on certain words....and finally looked at him and said "I have no clue what you just said to me".

We are both officially on vacation from work. After we drop the kids off tomorrow we are headed somewhere......not sure where yet.....I guess we will just get in the car and see where the road takes us. I love this kind of vacation.....one with no agenda other than enjoying each other's company. One thing is certain....there will be lots of photographs to share!

I hope that everyone has a beautiful weekend full of sunshine, laughter, good company and plenty of smiles!

A New Scar

I'm feeling kind of raw right now. There is a fresh wound on my heart. I let my guard down...I reached out...not knowing what to expect but receiving a response most definitely not expected. An old friend, a confidante, a Man of God. I try so hard to protect my heart...to prevent these lacerations which eventually turn into scars. I realize now that heartache is a part of life....that these scars, old and new, make me who I am....they are a part of me. The only thing I can change is the way I react...pick myself up....dust myself off....and begin a new day.

Self Portrait Wednesday

My favorite shoes!

Look who is looking at me!

Rex spotted this in the woods behind our house. It took me awhile to find her with my camera but wow! Isn't she beautiful?

Self Portrait Wednesdays

At the invitation of Misty Mawn, I decided to participate in her informal self-portrait Wednesdays. I know, it is Friday! This is probably one of the most uncomfortable projects I've undertaken so I kept putting it off. I do not like to be photographed and I hide from the camera. I secretly delete photos that my husband or anyone else has taken (just the ones with me in them). In photos I am barely recognizable to myself. I keep thinking that I should see the Kristin in her 20s...petite....thin...more comfortable with her outward appearance. I am now 42....I've had 4 children...I have more emotional baggage...I have external scars as well as the ones on my heart. I have always been an emotional eater and the older I've gotten the more difficult it is to get rid of excess weight. I keep telling myself that "I am not defined by my body". While I can understand this on an intellectual level......on an emotional level I refuse to believe it. I want to see something else...someone else! Through these self-portraits I am going to try to see myself as I see others......be more forgiving of myself as I am of others......to try to find the beauty in the "abandoned house that has been neglected for too many years".

Memories

Theses are two of my favorite photos....taken with my now deceased N65. I love my husband's strong hand with Rowan's tiny little hand. Every time I see this photo I smile. Rowan was about 8 months here. And.....there I am......revealed. It seems like yesterday that he was so little. He is such a dear little pumpkin! Such a "wild thing". Growing up so fast....too fast. And he is funny. Yesterday he looked at me and asked....."are you nuts"? Uh oh.....he's on to me!

My trusty Nikon N65....not so trustworthy!

I was just rereading one of my posts about the Sanatorium and read about taking my trusty N65. Well, I have to tell you that it let me down. My husband took one roll of black and white at DeJarnette and I took a roll of infrared. I went to pick up the contact sheets today and both rolls had absolutely NO images on them. I was so disappointed and could not understand how that could have happened. As it turned out I had brought my camera with me today to get the back latch repaired. When they looked at it they discovered that my shutter was really messed up. It is supposed to be flat.....it is not.....they disappeared with my camera..... took it to the back to give me an estimate on fixing it. There is no fixing it.....it needs a whole new shutter which would cost more than the camera is worth. This is a sad day. I am forced to make a decision......do I invest in another film camera (Nikon F100) or do I put my money into digital? Oh how I love film! It is my first love! I was stubborn about digital until fairly recently. Rex got a digital camera for his birthday and I have been borrowing it.....a lot! I love the instant gratification.....shooting and then coming home and immediately uploading the images......posting them to my blog....sending them to family members. This past week was painful......waiting for the contact sheets.......dying to know what I had captured......the anticipation! I would welcome any advice or information on a good digital camera. The more I sit here and write about it the more I am leaning towards digital. Have a wonderful night!